September 7, 2022
E25 Tapping Into Consistent Growth with Fay Chan
Wondering how to consistently show up and continuously deal with your daily life? Struggling on how to deal with emotional setbacks?
Learn everything about how consistency contributes to your success and how to positively deal with your emotions.
In this episode, we meet the lovely Fay Chan, who was a personal budgeting coach and is now a certified EFT(Emotional Freedom Technique) practitioner.
-Emotional Freedom Technique
-Dealing with Emotions
-Consistently Showing Up
-Handling Cultural Struggles
-Dealing with Own Personal Issues
-Application of Consistency
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Note: this transcript was generated automatically. It’s accuracy may vary.
Olivia: [00:00:00] Hey Fay, welcome to magnetic pod.
Fay: Hey Olivia, thanks for having me on.
Olivia: Absolute pleasure. I’ve been looking forward to it. So I’ll introduce you. Shall I?
Fay: Yep, sure.
Olivia: Okay. Well, I have known Fay Chan for, quite a few years.
Fay: a few years. Yeah.
Olivia: So Mom Life Community is a Facebook group that I used to be an admin of. And I met Fay through, that group and became friends and I’ve seen her consistently show up online really well, all through that time.
So back then, Fay was, a personal budgeting coach and she always regularly showed up to talk about lesson how, and how to help people through that. And then a few years back, they pivoted and she is now a certified EFT practitioner. So that EFT stands for, remind me again.
Fay: Emotional freedom technique. .
Olivia: And Fay helps her clients gain calm, clarity, and confidence.
[00:01:00] So let’s dive into it. Why did you decide to go into EFT?
Fay: Well, when I was working as a personal budgeting consultant or coach. It was a need at service for quite a lot of people and everybody identified with it. Right. However, I was actually dealing rather than the strategy, which is the budget and the planner, the spending plan. When I’m talking about money, people are actually quite triggered about such a heavy topic.
And when people are triggered, they’re actually dealing with their emotions or dealing with the meaning attributed to money and it grips them. So as in my previous business, as a consultant, I needed to move them from the gripping of what money meant to them, what they did and didn’t have. And I needed to move them across from the gripped nurse as such across to the strategic.
And I found it really tough and really [00:02:00] difficult. Yeah. And because money is such a loaded topic, it was really hard to shift that. So I was already dealing with the emotional angst of a certain topic. So it was just a natural pivot for me across to the emotional pipeline from the strategic pipeline.
So, which really worked on my experience of being a personal coach in the personal training development industry, as well as being a spiritual person as well.
So I’ve done some spiritual courses too. And the intention of budgeting was really to make a difference through the access of the budgeting. Right. So instead of using a vehicle, I just went for a jugular. Not that I’ll just go, I go straight into the emotional stuff. Right.
So that really spoke with me. And I already knew my trainer for EFT, for about 10, 12 years at that point. So I already [00:03:00] knew about tapping it. Wasn’t new to me. I knew how it worked. I was a client of my trainer. So I was already using it for myself an everyday life. And, , it was just a natural pivot.
and I guess transgression , across to being a tapping practitioner. So that’s how I come. I’ve pivoted.
Olivia: So you’ve embraced the woo woo side and you’re putting them together. Cause you’re very practical as well. Like you had all those hands on stuff, but you’ve embraced both sides.
Fay: Yes, that was in my budgeting money days actually, because everyone would go. And because of the uncertainty of anxiety. People will always go for readings. Let’s just say, or ask the tarot cards, 10,000 questions. because they’re wanting to know an answer. The uncertainty is uncomfortable and same with money.
The uncertainty is uncomfortable. People Arent rigorous with what they say. They’ll say things like, oh, it’s round and about [00:04:00] it’s. It’s about that much, maybe this, maybe that, but they’re never sure about it being $0, you know, $5,000 or somewhere between two and a half and 3000. So they’re really not rigorous with their information.
And so I saw that, nothing to do with readings and tarot cards and stuff like that, because I believe in that stuff myself, however, when people use it as a crux to determine certainty, that’s when I know it’s an anxiety that anxiety they’re trying to alleviate, it has nothing to do with, do with what the future behold. so yeah, I do come from a very practical standpoint, even insight tapping. Everything’s still very practical because it’s really about acknowledging what’s there. What isn’t there. , before you go and work on the affirmations. You know, people don’t come to tap on affirmations and tap on [00:05:00] money will come easily to me. right. I look for what’s coming up against money will come easily to.
So we’re looking at what doesn’t work about something, , what we call tower Enders, and because that’s where the strong belief or disbelief system is held. And so we work on that first before creating the affirming at the end of the session.
Olivia: Actually, that’s what I do love about the approach of EFT,
Fay: yes exactly. Because often it’s the negative thoughts that are coming. Otherwise, you won’t be frantically searching for the positive
Fay: all right. And so as much as if you’re chanting something or saying a mantra or doing some mirror work or anything like that to try and elicit the positive or, the fake it to you, make it, feel it in your body.
And then, the universe and the reality follows. That’s all true, in terms of the law of attraction. But if you really [00:06:00] want to be again rigorous about your thought process and rigorous about what it is and what it isn’t usually it’s over the top of an anxiety. So if you recognize the anxiety itself, you literally release the anchor, which is holding you back rather than trying to work against the anchor.
A ship was traveling along and there’s an anchor, but it was strong enough to pull the anchor along. It doesn’t mean the ship won’t move forward. It still will. But that’s like not recognizing your anxiety. That’s the anchor. And trying on top of it, be positive and push through all the time.
You still will move forward, but at much slower rate, but if you deal with the anchor, 70 anchor release it, you are just gonna push forward so much faster.
Olivia: All right. So shall we get into the the consistency thing that you wanted to talk about? Tell me your approach. How do you do it? How do you keep showing up online consistently?
Fay: That’s been well, I’ve [00:07:00] developed that I’ve developed that forte of mine. , it’s at the start, it was really quite hard and difficult. Because I remember trying to do some videos with the more entrepre business women’s group at that time. And, , they had some challenge on, and I had to do videos and this was like six or seven years ago when it was very new to do videos and vlogs.
I was really quite, confronted about speaking on camera myself. , but you does have to show up. My theory is you don’t know what you are dealing with until you do it and do it consistently over time. Like, if you’re starting a new business, you want to find your voice, you find want to find your niche.
You want to find your strategy. It isn’t to find your strategy on day zero, and then do it from day one. You do it consistently for 50 days. And then at the 50 day mark, you go, what’s my strategy because of refinement and the discernment’s really [00:08:00] there for. You’ve got 50 days worth off. I don’t know, speaking in front of the camera, posting every day, seeing what feedback comes through, what works and doesn’t work and refining your own style, your natural style, because everybody’s got their own natural style.
Right? What you like and don’t like, and what you gravitate to speaking about what you don’t gravitate to speaking about. Right. And unless you are in the doing of it, that stuff doesn’t show up. And then that’s when you refine and discern, but a lot of people go, oh honey, I need a website first. Or I need to get my strategy right first. I need to know who I’m speaking to in order to write my post, do my video. When my approach is completely the opposite, it’s like, just go and do. Give yourself, just say a hundred days of doing it every single day and it’ll show up cuz you’ll then know, first of all, you’ve got a hundred days under your belt of doing.
And so, [00:09:00] what you like or don’t like what people respond to or don’t respond to, will show up in the a hundred days too. So I did that with Budgeting 1 2 3, and my husband set up the Facebook page and just said, here you go. And I went, all right, I’ll just test it out. I had no idea how to use Canva at that time.
No idea which apps to use for videos or things like that. Nothing. No. I had to just learn, you know, some of my posts way back from back then. Gosh, Max was, my son was like one and a half years old and all this started. Like, it was this crappy post. I just made it up. Like whatever came out my head, I just belonged onto a post and posted.
And then through time it starts refined itself. And then when I was ready to pivot across to EFT, so that built on what I had already built. Rather than trying, rather than starting again, I wasn’t starting again, even though I was dealing in a [00:10:00] different, I guess, category altogether. And I guess discipline is.
Discipline is quite testing, is quite trying. , you just gotta make yourself, it’s like turning up to become yoga session where you don’t really feel like it. You just have to make yourself. And then when you’re there, you’re like, oh, thank God I’m here. , or like any PT sessions or going at for walk.
Or you’re dreading doing the dishes and once it’s done, you feel better. So it’s to catch yourself in those moments where you don’t want to and still pushing through. And so that’s when the practice of the habit shows up and that’s how discipline gets crafted out of you. So, yeah, that’s been my thing, cuz it’s only showing.
Olivia: Showing it up. Showing up even when you don’t want to. And I think also facing it and doing the thing is also less scary. I mean, that’s one thing I find with podcast too, that I do start with some strategy, like a direction to go in and help people with that. But I always think it’s likely to [00:11:00] evolve.
And people often put off starting a podcast and this applies to anything in the business or anything in life. You know, we put it off because, , scarier than actually facing it.
Fay: Yeah, that’s half the battle. One at that point.
Olivia: Yeah. So, and then you do learn along the way. So what have you learned along the way with
Fay: not to talk about the trigger points.
Olivia: interesting. Really?
Fay: Yeah. So I did an experiment actually with this other mother’s group that you and I are in as well on Facebook. So through the years, and I mean, years budgeting 1, 2, 3, and tapping days through the years, I’ve had literally zero to no responses to my post. Right. None, one or two tags, people might sign up, may not sign up, but I hardly get any clients coming from that particular group.
So to me, that’s a really safe group to experiment it.
Olivia: That’s interesting.
Fay: So the other day, [00:12:00] it was only two weeks ago. I, , so I did a post couple weeks ago about my transition from budgeting 1, 2, 3 to what, to tapping as a reflection, post, like a blog post. And that got a lot of traction. And then, , and then literally the next day I had a referral for my financial planner for budgeting or four things I’m like, OK, the universe has spoken.
So great. Got a new client and that brought me, brought the conversation back of, the couple that pays, here, pace or a, B and C and she pace, or D E in and. And it’s not a pool of monies. And if you are wanting to assess a household in terms of money, you need to consider the whole picture, right?
Just like if I’m tapping with someone, I need to understand the whole picture. That’s why you almost have to regurgitate your secrets to me because otherwise I just dunno what I’m working with. And your body can’t lie anyway. So it will come up anyway in the session.
Olivia: you’re gonna get vulnerable.
Fay: Yeah, it is. And so I [00:13:00] thought I’ll just do that post on, in that Facebook group where all the months have been completely silent.
I write things like I write a very go going for the jugular post. And I said something like, I can’t believe that if you’re in a committed relationship that people still pay things separately. He pays for B and C and she pays her DF when I need to consider the whole pool.
Right. So it was really quite opinionated judge as such. It could as such and I’ve three like surprise or angry emojis. And one was a laughing emoji and people wrote. People were actually triggered to write, but luckily I’m not attached because I’m not talking about budgeting anymore, but I know from the EFT point of view and working with anxiety and overwhelm and understanding emotional anchors, how to trigger, but people do that in marketing.
Olivia: not to do that was a good thing to do. Wasn’t it? You got attention
Fay: Well, I got attention, but I know [00:14:00] with regards to money. It’s a crazy, the topic’s nuts.
Right? Not to do that with money because it’ll get everybody on their high horse.
Olivia: It’s interesting. Cause I remember listening to an Abraham Hicks, not the, not Abraham Hicks, but the person that channels, ,
Fay: Esther Hicks.
Olivia: Commenting that the things that she does on money are the ones that get the most views. Get the most. Sales get the most, whatever. So it must be the ones about how to get the money and attracting and all just all the positive feel, good bits.
They do ones, but the ones that are making people
Fay: Accountable. Like the post that I do. Yeah. Yeah. That’s the thing it’s like, it’s because I don’t post. because the money posts that attract are people to talk about abundance, people that talk about how do you have a better money, mindset, how to create more wealth. And with certain [00:15:00] financial practitioners, they’ll talk about how to be creative with debt. Not for that,
Fay: right? Because just like you, if you don’t deal with the mud, that’s underneath the icing. And the fondant and the sprinkles. Right. And I’m talking about dirt, mud, not mud cake,
Fay: The mud’s still gonna be there.
Fay: Right. So a lot of people rather talk about attracting money. Not a lot of people would talk about the ugliness stuff of money.
Fay: Yeah. And so that I went there a lot with, , my posting and I’ve learned to not go there with regards to money, even if I were to do a money post regard inside of EFT tapping
Olivia: Is there something. I remember you saying something about where you used to work for my budget, right. And I saw a phrase somewhere where you said, oh, what are someone asked you? What your qualifications are? And you said, well, [00:16:00] I’m Chinese and I’ve been budgeting since two or so, or
Fay: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So a client came in, a client, came in and he sat down. He was a guy probably in his thirties and you know, really formal with me and he said, oh, what are your qualifications Fay. And I’ve said, well, I’m Asian. And I’ve been saving since I was two. And he just burst out laughing. And he goes, all right, just tell me what to do. Because it’s not rocket science, a grade six can budget for you
you go this much money.
You take away this much, you’re left with this. And if you use too much, it’s called negative. That’s all. It’s not that hard
Olivia: It is cuz we want,
Fay: up all
Olivia: but we want this,
doing the work without, yeah,
Olivia: we only get her bringing in this. This is not good for podcasting. imagine my hands closer together.[00:17:00] Yeah, thought I wanna face that bit. But the thing that interested me with that post, I guess, or that observation is that. Is there a cultural thing?
Like did it come to as a surprise, a different attitude?
Is it easy? It, well, cuz you said I’m Chinese and I’ve been budgeting since I was two. Is that a thing? Is that we have more fear as Westerners. We have more here rubbish around it or what’s got
Fay: No, no,
Olivia: one. Why? Why is
Fay: the same,
Fay: the fears, the same with the ethnic population. As in Asians, Chinese Asians, , it’s all about saving for better day.
Olivia: Oh, so it’s different. It’s fear,
but just shows up
Fay: based. It’s still fear based and anxiety. So you must save, you must do well at school. You must have enough of money to buy yourself a house and do cars and investment property and shares. So the looking good around money and wealth [00:18:00] in the Asian society, culturally speaking is all about survival and making sure that you don’t have a hard life because Historically in Asian countries, there’s no social welfare. And so you either live on the streets or you go work and pay for it.
Olivia: I see. So I found that
Fay: So it’s still fear based and anxiety based.
Olivia: But it’s more constructive at least
Fay: Well, it there’s a workability around it, right? Like with having or not having it’s better to have it alleviates a lot of stress and anxiety with. Now for those that, that already have though, then having more won’t make that will make a difference. And then they think they’re chasing, having more as fulfillment when fulfillment is given by, by really contributing and making a difference, not trying to survive and get better.
So when you’re trying to survive and get better, is this your [00:19:00] anxiety in play, collecting more and more evidence? So there’ll be a lot of people out there that are quite well off and wealthy. Let’s say, because they’ve got that sort of say background, but they’re anxious Rex,
Fay: There might be your antidepressants, nothing wrong with that, but I’m just addressing that.
the more you have in that case, like Maslow’s triangle. It doesn’t give you more. It’s how you increase, your utility as a person.
Olivia: So these days, I guess this gives you a tool to be able to address all these issues. Are you still helping people with money issues or what are the kind of things that you’re helping people with these days?
Fay: In insight tapping
Fay: Yeah. So, ,
all sorts of issues. I’ve helped people with grief.
Fay: I have helped people with money issues in terms of, , developing the.
Fay: they want say they want to [00:20:00] take themselves from here to there, like to the next level. And they don’t know what it is. That’s blocking them.
And often it’s not a, it’s not strategic. It’s often an emotional block. So for a client of mine, she came to me wanting to increase her business. And she was at a place where at next day she was ready for the next stage. , and what came up was she was scared to hold other people account. Because when you grow and you have more collaborations, you have more interactions and contracts with other people and vendors and what have you.
, and there’s, and you’re dealing with personalities. There’s always room for accountability, but she wouldn’t. She would just go, oh, just, I’ll just, I won’t chase that. I’ll just give them the extra product or whatever it is. And so if you wanna take your business as an ex level, your accountability as a person to hold others to account comes into play.
And so that was the block had nothing to do with her strategy.
Olivia: just doing this [00:21:00] work. Hold a mirror up to yourself as well, dealing with people’s money issues, and then going on to EFT where you’re dealing with all of the issues. Do you ever see, is it ever a mirror to yourself? Have you learned about yourself along the way?
Fay: Yeah. So as a practitioner, we need to do our own personal work. So I get my own tapping sessions once a fortnight. So for the last three years I’ve been tapping fortnightly right for myself with another practitioner. , and when I’m tapping, say for you as a client, I’ll be work. My subconscious is also listening.
So it’ll be working on its own variation, but I’m there doing the work for the. As such. , and the reason we as practitioners need to do our own personal work is so that we don’t get triggered in the middle of a session for a client.
Fay: Because if you deal enough with the stuff that comes up for you. You can hear secrets that are three [00:22:00] decades old or hear about sexual abuse or hear about a divorce or hear about, a grief for someone or a pet. You’ll be able to hold space with the other person because you’ve dealt with your own stuff. So that you can do that. So for me, on top of getting my tapping sessions, I go to Biro, yoga and hot Pilates a lot.
Fay: So I put myself in an environment where, well, it’s not that I dislike it because I love it. Right. But it’s a mental test and it depends on a daily basis. I might rock up to Bikram last week and I was fine. And this week I might be on the floor, four third of the class, because I just can’t deal with it.
Olivia: It brings everything. I haven’t done it for years actually, but I did it once and it was incredible. I actually had to do some really stressful things at work and we had to let people go and it was awful and it was in my body that horrible tension and I went along Toro. Not because of that, but it all just sort of, it [00:23:00] was like, it was rung out.
Like when you run, ring out the laundry
Fay: Yes exactly. I mean, you end up working all your muscles, it’s a 90 minute open eye meditation. You gotta look at yourself in the mirror, whether you like it or not. Right. And so you learn to then hold space, you learn to then deal with your own emotions, your own thoughts in on top of your own physical discomfort, because you’re in a room.
If you’re dehydrated, you suffer through the whole 90 minutes.
Fay: And the heat doesn’t consistently say at 40 degrees, there’s a humidity aspect. It will go up as well. Like, just because it’s 40 degrees doesn’t mean the room doesn’t increase in temperature. Right. And so I’ve utilized bickering to learn how to hold space for other people, because I’ve dealt with holding my own space.
Olivia: Yeah, incredible.
Fay: So now I’m incorporating cold showers
Olivia: Oh, that’s a bit of a new buzz. Isn’t it?
Fay: Yeah, it.
Olivia: So we’re [00:24:00] running outta time though. So is there anything that we didn’t cover that you would like to share with people before we wrap up?
Fay: yeah, that inside of consistency, you’ll learn a whole lot about yourself. , but you get apply to consistency so that. , the lessons and the messages do have an opportunity to show up. And if you show away from it, the learning’s not gonna be had. And you’re still back in the same spot.
Olivia: Exactly consistency is, number one, that’s my word of the year actually is consistency and it’s definitely applies to the podcast as well. Well, how can people reach you?
Fay: you can follow me on my Facebook page. Living well with Fay is the social handle and same with Instagram living well with Fay.
Olivia: excellent. And we’ll put those in the show notes. Thanks so much faith.
Fay: Excellent. No, thanks for having me.